Well, let’s say that my advice worked and that you are either riding the wave of a womanizer or you even found the one and only – congratulations! And what to do now? Oh, and by the way, if it doesn’t work for you, maybe you didn’t try it to the fullest and especially in a calm way, but instead in an uptight way. Maybe you have this pseudo-moralizing feeling that it’s not quite fair, not quite kosher. Well, I have to tell you something from the bottom of my heart = I have tried to work absolutely without finesse once, on a friend whom I really respect a lot – and the result? Shiiiiiiit!!! It doesn’t work without them! They require them!!! So wake up, dude!!!
This won’t make a whole chapter and fit here, so I’ll tell you right now and I’ll probably disappoint you a lot (but at least you can see that I’m playing fair and not lying to you – after all, I don’t even have a reason to do that, don’t you think?), but I’ve used the „corona“ period to reduce the number of girlfriends with benefits (and without them), so nowadays I’m actually just „trotting out“. But I have gained valuable experience from that post-breakup period, and I’m trying to share it with you. The main (but purely personal) lesson is that I realized that the role of a womanizer doesn’t suit me, I’m not happy in it, but I’m glad that it works and that I experienced what I experienced. But enough is enough, good things are scarce…
So, if you’re a womanizer, you may be wondering (like I was at the time) how these fuckers are doing it. I wondered for a long time when I saw it in the film, how do dickheads solve it when they have more women, after all, logically they must meet sometime?! Nota bene in my small town. Yes, they will. But it doesn’t matter. They never meet all at once and there’s always at least one winner. So we’re actually talking about the theoretical loss of one harem member who is immediately replaced by a new candidate. So it’s really not a big deal…
And speaking of shocking revelations (at least to me), I have seen and experienced with my own eyes that some members of my harem even knew about each other! Yeah, really. In a way, they really took it as an honor to be „part of the team“, waiting to be „used“ and then stand at the back of the line and wait their turn. Unbelievable, I know…
And if you found the right one – dude, man! Enjoy it to the fullest and empty your balls!!! Because this is the most amazing time (I don’t want to come across as an oversensitive dude – which I probably am, but it may be our meaning and purpose in life)! And you don’t know how much I hate to say it, but you have at most two years ahead of you, but that would be by Guinness, but much more like a lucky year and then everything goes to shit. So don’t waste a minute or a second of that truly magical moment!!! Promise?!
I didn’t put honey around your mouth and I won’t do it now, so sorry, but when the initial crush wears off and it does, don’t believe me, you’ll find out for yourself and maybe sooner than you think… You’ll find out that everything is kind of different. Please, I’m not saying that everything is a sham and a fake from your chosen one. You know that she loves you too, and she really likes a lot of things about you (at least I want to believe that too – let’s not be delusional, okay?). The thing is, ladies, unfortunately, don’t stop playing games for a moment, testing what we can stand and how we will react. We, when we’re in love, we go in with our hearts on our sleeves, like a bull to the slaughter, and do things selflessly. Women, of course, even though there’s not quite like the same kind of fierce intention to hurt and take advantage of us, they still play the games, it makes them feel good, they just have to be princesses all the time and pull us around. It has to do with who’s the real romantic, who writes poems, sings odes?! Have you ever read a poem by a woman = when I see your character my heart leaps inside me etc.?! And then who cries at break-ups? (but more on that next time)
In short, we are constantly subjected to a never-ending series of tests. Example – it was such a tenderly sweet thing to do, but a friend of mine, without warning, in an unguarded moment, covered my eyes with her hands and said: „What colour are my eyes?“ – get it? Women are always risking trouble – your trouble! Yet they go for it… For the sake of the story – I replied, „What are you fooling with? Brown, of course!“ The subsequent joy in their eyes could not have been faked! Hooray, I passed with flying colors on this test.
And the lesson learned from this part? If you want to make it work, if you want the relationship to last happily for as long as possible – be attentive, perceptive, and above all, alert. Yeah, you really need to remember the names of all your girlfriend’s semi-asshole friends. Ideally, remember the names of their dogs too – hey, if I could do it for even seven women at once (and I avoided suspicious names like sweetie, baby etc. – I remembered to call them nice for all of them), you’ve got to give it to one! Don’t forget about holidays, birthdays, dating anniversaries and shit like that – don’t get caught up in the fact that she doesn’t care, again it’s just a test = she cares, and fucking cares! Yeah, I agree, just a permanent relationship means you’re going to make an ass of yourself, the sooner you accept that, the sooner you’ll be relieved…sorry…
Isn’t that pointless? Isn’t it a waste? You can, but it’ll only shorten the „happiness“ and the duration of the relationship. If you have a different experience, a different idea, a different (and I stress FUNCTIONAL) approach – let me know. I’d love to read about it, I really would! Because women keep a sort of virtual account with each other. Simply – when you’re in the plus, they forgive you a lot (but of course they reduce the value of your account immediately) and maybe even give you a fuck when you’re in the minus or close to zero, then just a little thing and they’re yelling at you and you don’t understand why she’s making such a fuss about a bullshit = you just got in the minus and the debit doesn’t count, get it?! The problem is that the perception of a one point gain is completely different for men and women. For example, we consider a flower of 30 roses to be 30 points. A woman, one point. So it’s worth giving 30 times one rose rather than 1×30 roses! And vice versa – forgetting her birthday, calling her mother a cow or burping in front of relatives = minus one for us, minus one hundred to one million for her! Is that understandable? I hope so…
Anyway, what happens afterwards is that the guy gets on their nerves so much that they want to replace him. Quite often it’s the goose’s original decision – i.e. a pompous macho who thinks only of himself (if „thinks“ isn’t too much of an exaggeration). And then they come to appreciate real values and the relationship can be quite happy. It’s bad when it’s the other way around, when the girl is just „unlucky“, she found someone nice, decent and respectful… She’s been listening to her stupid friends complain about their old ones all the time and suddenly she finds out that she has nothing to complain about because the poor macho bitch just fuck her instead of saying hello and this bitch is really thinking – oh, I’d love that, my dumbass can’t do that! Power, huh?! The polite man is waiting for her to feel good. But as soon as she longs for assholes like that, the girl is out of luck, because she won’t be happy for the rest of her life, because there are so many assholes like that, who think only in such a dickheaded way and who get a workout later in life, and that’s probably the reason why they are so often alone and why they take advantage of every open slot…