What about the others or the functioning of society
Let us return for a moment to the illustration about the magnet. Human society can be imagined as a lot of magnets on one table (we are all actually „energetically“ connected – through feelings and sensations of course = that is why we also use terms like compassion or sharing). And so the movement of one magnet causes an immediate reaction on our social and communal table – some magnets move away, others jump in. Again, the difference from the illustration is that sometimes opposites do attract, but mostly they don’t. And then also those of our own lives, our own emotions – they have different strengths, intensities and in „rustic“ terms = higher takes.
The thing is, if I don’t have my life „firmly in my hands“ – you see, we’ve actually heard it all X times, it’s kind of our historical wisdom. It’s just that many times we don’t get it, we don’t understand it…when I don’t realize the responsibility for my own life, the energy of other „magnets“ play with us as they please and ping us from side to side. But, unfortunately, this is also actually the result of our emotions – because when I feel (and very strongly – so I actually „know“) that I can’t do anything, etc., it just has to happen that way – after all, it’s the law, isn’t it? 🙂
Among other things, it also means that what is happening to me is not the fault of others. As long as we play the blame game, we will never be happy, because even if we seemingly find it, nothing will change – what annoys us will continue to annoy us. We may just add to it our hatred of the person supposedly responsible. Still, others can somehow seemingly prevent me from happiness. Namely, by having some demands, requirements, expectations of how they should behave. But these are also my childhood programs – they need to be cleared for complete happiness. I’m simply used to my parents being pretty accommodating (if I’m lucky enough to have good parents), but that’s not how life works, which is why a functioning family is something so fascinating and unique.
Add to that an experience I saw a few years ago. A luxury hotel in the centre of Prague. Two parking spaces in front of the entrance for incoming hotel guests. Apparently, someone who had no business parking there was always there, so the manager was put in charge of guarding it. He was confronted by a cocky young man with a souped-up car. I overheard the end of the request of the person in charge to re-park and then a shower of curses that the young man rained on his head. I was expecting a deep conflict, but the mature and experienced gentleman just smiled and said in a calm voice: „Hey, you had a tough childhood, didn’t you?“ 😀 When I argue, I’m actually arguing with my stupid feelings.
Love yourself = that’s the key. Okay, but what does that really mean, then what does it look like? Just do what you want – why shouldn’t you be able to do what you want? Do what you want and watch yourself do it. And if you think of such learned nonsense like what if you wanted to murder babies 😀 then think for a moment and realize how big the difference is between fantasy and reality. I mean it this way and I apologize in advance for the rather wacky analogy, but I want the idea to stand out beyond any doubt. Okay, so let’s say you find yourself wanting to murder those innocents, okay, then try it – where do you get a gun? Do you have contacts in the „underworld“ or do you go for a gun licence (or whatever it’s called – I don’t know what it is :D)… And suppose everything works out and you really go to a kindergarten and you really pull the trigger? I guess it’s hard, isn’t it? Because it’s just nonsensical ideas and, to put it popularly, „cage talk“! Because the idea means = do what you really love! Does it make you happy? Well, keep doing it! Doesn’t it make you happy? Well, don’t do it!
Just think of yourself. Ask yourself often, and what do I say? Really enjoy life, every second of it. Don’t submit to others just out of fear, because then you’re just holding it in and eventually you’ll explode and be angry. Just calmly assert your own from the beginning with respect for others. Submit because you personally chose to, not out of fear, and then it will go without dialing as a manifestation of your decision, your free will…
Taking care of yourself and taking care of your pleasant experience of life is not selfish! You will not forget that you can take care of others with this attitude! On the contrary, the more at ease you are, the more at ease the people around you will be. Think of yourself! That’s the difference from thinking ONLY of yourself. When you think of yourself and you are cool yourself, you can then think of others. It doesn’t work the other way around. Pushing doesn’t work, pulling works! This is a working system!
I’m not responsible for the reaction of others. I have accepted responsibility for my form of communication (many people don’t give a damn about it by the way, and many things work for them anyway, so there’s really no need to nitpick), so as not to offend others, if possible, but if I edit the content, i.e. my opinions, then I am „bending“ for the sake of others – i.e. I am giving in out of fear, and it doesn’t lead to anything anyway, it just doesn’t work! It can also be a problem if I take others‘ reactions personally, but that’s their business, not mine! Let’s not forget that it is for the truth that one gets angry! 😉
And besides, not getting upset with others doesn’t mean you agree with them! Allow them to suffer the consequences of their (bad) decisions. You don’t get upset with it, it’s not your problem!
I’m not here to change the world, nor to change the people around me. I’m here to be happy! So let’s do what makes us happy, what makes us satisfied!